Well I guess everyone who adopts has an adoption story. Our story is basically about Him. How our Adoptive Father changed our hearts. We are thankful for His patience.
Our family has been convicted of the need for followers of Jesus to take an active and intentional role in caring for the fatherless and motherless since 2009. That’s when a three week trip to the Namwianga Mission in Zambia opened our eyes and hearts to the tremendous and numerous needs of these precious little ones who have been swept aside by the torrent of brokenness so engulfing our world. We know that Jesus and His Kingdom is the answer, and we know that He urges His people to fill the numerous roles needing to be filled in order to show the Father’s love to the fatherless.
Since 2009 we’ve assumed that our role was simply to be a foster family; to offer temporary love, nurturing, and safety to infants and toddlers as they await their forever home. We had many reasons and rationale for limiting our role to fostering and therefore declined to adopt some of the children we had fostered, although it was quite difficult. We felt at peace that we just “weren’t called to adopt” although the boys have always had an openness to it.
Something began to change within Wendy last September when we visited an orphanage here in Shiyan, China. God used a little two year-old boy to do something deep within her. Wendy named him Pierce “because he pierced my heart when I first saw him.” He was the first of many of the little ones to grab my (Eric’s) legs and say “ba ba” (daddy) when we first walked in. We spent about 30 minutes in the room where he and a dozen other little ones lived and that was enough to stir Wendy’s heart. She came home and wept. Over the next many months she couldn’t get him out of her mind. You must understand that the way this quiet, unassuming little one instantly stole her heart was different. For some reason different. Different from all the times that other children who weren’t our own- whether in Zambia or even in our home- have called us mommy and daddy and captured our hearts. Different. Supernaturally different. Yes, we loved the other babies as our own but this two year-old Chinese boy with special needs instantaneously took up residence in a spot of Wendy’s heart that we hadn’t known existed. The boys also felt an instant connection to him.
For the first time, she began to think, pray, and talk about adoption. It wasn’t a strong and decisive “we should adopt!” but rather a hesitant and quiet questioning. At times she would try to explain that it wasn’t a desire to adopt as much as an urgent need and relentless disturbance to adopt him. She had never had these feelings before. I wasn’t so sure. Actually I was quite sure: quite sure that we “weren’t called to adopt.” I had a well-rehearsed mental tape of the logical and rational reasons for not adopting. For instance, “We’ll be empty-nesters at 44 and be free to go and do whatever He calls us to without thinking about the effects it’ll have on the kids.” (We’re planning on being back in the States in a couple of years so that the boys can be in public high schools.) “Starting over with a little one will delay that.” I had quite a few rational arguments against adopting. And of course I had my fair share of selfish reasons for not adopting. I knew they were selfish but they were still there.
In a way, Wendy wanted to stop thinking about Pierce. It was heartbreaking to picture him in the cold, but more so it was heartbreaking for her to picture his future without a loving family or knowing of His loving Father. In another way, I too wanted Wendy to stop thinking about Pierce. But all of our hearts continued to hurt for the children at the orphanage. After just a handful of visits, we were told that as foreigners we would no longer be able to visit the orphanage. This was heartbreaking for all of us. We wanted so badly to visit weekly in order to play with, pray over, and love on the children.
In November, after much prayer and discussion Wendy convinced me that we should at least ask a few questions and see if Pierce was adoptable and what the requirements would be. This was after only seeing Pierce for a combined 90 minutes or so over our handful of visits to the orphanage. We discovered that we aren’t anywhere near the income levels required for adoption and that all the children at this specific orphanage around Pierce’s age had been promised to a specific organization. Dead-end. Confirmation that “we aren’t called to adopt,” I thought.
In January we spent 4 days at an orphanage near Beijing. While there the director told us that with each of their adoptive children they didn’t meet one or more of the requirements. He simply said, “If God wants you to adopt, you’ll adopt. Don’t worry about the requirements.” Something re-stirred in Wendy’s heart.
Each night that we were at the orphanage we and the Pritchards ended the day with a devo. We spent time praying for the children we had spent the day playing with; praying that they would come to know what love truly was; praying that they would be adopted by a loving, Christian family. We began to feel more and more uncomfortable praying those words. Oh, we meant the words! We knew that they needed to know and feel love. We knew they needed to know from where they came and who it was that loved them more than they could imagine. But we also became aware of the unspoken words of the prayer. What we were really praying was, “God, may these children be adopted by a loving, Christian family….just not ours.” We saw our hypocrisy in our prayers and weren’t comfortable with it. “We aren’t called to adopt” began to lose some power.
When we returned home all eight of us (4 Davenports and 4 Pritchards) had adoption on our radar to varying degrees and varying levels of enthusiasm. Brinson and Aiden were all in and fully convinced. Wendy was fully convinced but not all in. She had discovered her own list of selfish reasons not to adopt now that Pierce seemed to be out of the question. I was doing my absolute best to cover my ears, close my eyes, and rehearse my logical and rational reasons not to proceed.
On Monday, January 28th, Deryk, Tiffany, Wendy, and I spent a bunch of time together praying about adoption. We then had a “what if” and “yeah but” pow-wow…discussing all the reasons why adoption might not be best for our families. Obviously, we all had our selfish list but we knew those were selfish and shouldn’t be considered in the discussion. There were many reasons each of us had that seemed legit, real concerns and real hesitations. We ended our time together by praying that God would make it clear what we should do with all the “what ifs”; are they from you or are they from our flesh?
A few days later God dropped a Francis Chan sermon into our lap. It’s called “Fearless” and dealt directly with all the “what ifs” that keep us from following and trusting our Shepherd. Wow! God used a sermon preached 2 years ago to speak directly to us and answer our prayer!
The four of us got back together on Friday, February 1st. We all felt as though God had answered many of the questions we had asked him and all of our hearts were being changed to desire adoption. Yet we still wanted confirmation. The sentiment of the evening was, “if God wants us to do this then we will run in that direction. We just want to know for sure that God is saying yes.” Smile. J God is patient. And so, we put the fleece out for one more night and prayed for God to “make it as clear as the nose on our faces.” (those were Wendy’s words ).
Sunday, February 3rd, we happened to notice that Chan’s sermon was Part 1 of a two-part series. That evening our families got together to watch part 2. We had no idea that the first several minutes of the sermon would be about adoption and that Francis would reveal that he and his family had decided to begin the paperwork to adopt a 2 year-old special needs boy from China!! We sat with our jaws dropped and tears flowing… that this old sermon was God speaking directly into our hearts. The whole sermon spoke powerfully to each and every “what if”, “yeah but”, and hesitation we had voiced not 48 hours prior to viewing it. God had answered beyond our wildest dreams! But the biggest answer was in relation to our hearts. He had done a major transformation in each of us. Our hearts had been broken, our eyes had been opened, and we desperately want to rescue, love, and raise a little one in the name of the One who rescued, loves, and raises us.
We are charging ahead at full speed into the adoption process, fully convinced that God is leading us, and with the strongest desires to do so. The “what ifs” are still there because they are real. But they don’t matter to us anymore simply because we know He will provide and He will give us whatever we need. The name Pierce now brings tears to all 4 of our eyes. We don’t know for sure that he is the one we will welcome into our family (the red-tape says he isn’t) but it sure seems as though he is. Please join us in prayer. Meanwhile, we eagerly await the day we will hold our little one in our arms and whisper the sweet name of Jesus in his ear. Tell him of his Maker. His Savior. And…that we chose him (or her) just as Christ chose us. Like so much else, we will patiently watch our Shepherd work. We’re following your lead Father……
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