Stabilization- by Eric

The last four weeks have been full of ups and downs.  The downs have been pretty deep but things are certainly beginning to stabilize.  Pierce is now full of smiles and quick to laugh.  He LOVES badminton! I can't remember a time when he's the one who has chosen to stop playing once we begin.  It usually takes him about 5 attempts before he hits it and rarely hits it when we hit it to him, but he absolutely loves it.  He enjoys being part of the family and doing whatever we are doing around the house at any given time: washing dishes, laundry, sweeping, etc.

If he's asked to do something- that's a different story. :-)  However, he's already come a LONG way in regards to obedience.  During the first 10 days or so any simple request from us ("please come here", "please don't touch that") would be met with defiance on his part.  "Don't touch the computer" would be followed shortly by a mischievous smile and a hit to the computer screen, which would then be followed by 30-90 minutes of enraged screaming, hitting, spitting, etc. as we asked him to sit in a timeout chair.  Those fits are now only occurring about every other day and lasting only about 5-10 minutes.  We continually remind ourselves that we are not the victim.  He has been a victim for 6 years and we have the privilege of loving and praying him through the healing process.  It isn't easy but we know we are where we're supposed to be doing what we're supposed to be doing.  

Pierce's obedience is already getting closer to that of any other young child.  He obeys a majority of the time but his attitude in obedience still needs some work. :-)  Developmentally he is closer to a 3-4 year old, which is to be expected having spent all of his 6 years in an institution.  His little hands are constantly moving and constantly searching for something to touch.  We try to provide toys, play-dough, and as many manipulatives we can find but his hands still consistently find the things that are off limits.  Thankfully bedtime, playtime (20 minutes), waking up, and school time at the table have slowly fallen into place. I'm sure it's good for the little guy to learn the routine and know what to expect. It's certainly good for us. He seems so much more relaxed and comfortable with us. 

Brinson and Aiden are beautifully loving him with patience and gentleness.  Having already gone through this adjustment once with Sheldon they seem to be veterans.  Sheldon bore the brunt of hearing the screaming since he shares a room with him and can't just go outside and play by himself like the two big brothers can.  He seems to be handling all of that really well. Sometimes we wonder if he can even hear it because he just goes on about his business.  He is wrestling with some rivalry/jealousy stuff and is having a hard time understanding why the rules and expectations are a little different between him and Pierce.  We find ourselves having the same conversations with him that we had with Brinson and Aiden 5 months ago about Sheldon. We remind him that Pierce has a lot to learn, that we don't speak Chinese and he doesn't speak English, and that he is going through a big adjustment.  We need to be patient with him and just shower him with love and smiles.

The language barrier is a big barrier.  We're using all the Chinese we know and are able to communicate simple things. But that's not enough to communicate expectations nor the deeper heart issues we want to pour into him.  Sheldon's ability to understand Chinese has picked up exponentially.  He's now able to tell us just about everything that Pierce is saying to us.  This is a huge help and cuts down on the frustration.  We have a couple of friends that we call to translate if there's something we want to communicate to him.

In all honesty, we're feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of our roles and responsibilities.  Doing 100% of the schooling for Brinson and Aiden (instead of 50% like the past two years with the Pritchards), beginning kindergarden with Sheldon, watching Pierce's every move to ensure he doesn't damage himself or the apartment, teaching at the college, and having students over creates days and weeks that are filled to the brim.  Not to mention cooking, cleaning, and shopping.  We go to bed exhausted each evening.  We're praying for His filling and that He'll provide us with everything we need for each person, each task, each moment.  He's been faithful up to this point and we know that will continue.  His track record is pretty solid.